The most powerful method to change a child's behaviour

Catch them being good it is really that simple!

Working with many families I see how the pressure of life can allow us to focus on what needs to be done, what hasn't been done and what hasn't been done well enough. As parents we can focus too much on the negatives the lacking, the problems, the next and start down a funnel of negativity that is confusing to young children trying to learn how to behave appropriately. Focusing on what not to do, such as "don't grab things of the shelf!"," Don't hurt your little brother." They only learn what not to do but by catching kids doing the right things we positively reinforce good behaviour and guide our children to understand what is approriate or desired behaviour.

 It can be as simple as " I like the way you let you sister go first that shows me you are a caring kid." or perhaps. Perhaps your child is always interrupting, when they don't quickly let them know that they did well to wait. Or if that tapping is driving you nuts, show them a signal to stop tell them that you will speak to them when you are ready and when you turn to them (make sure it's quick) and while they are waiting look at them and start the conversation with thanks for waiting and trusting that I will listen to you now what and how can I help you? The next time just show the hand signal and plough on through your conversation till an appropriate break occurs before giving them the attention. Do this consistently and you will see am immediate and dramatic change.

Saying "Not now." or "Don't interrupt me." Doesn't tell children how to politely interupt you. For a young child obsorbed in the immediacy of the moment who must just share what to them is incredibly, life threatening vitalally important  for you to know they. Need to be guided as to how to tell you that they just saw the most amazing leaf.

When they do comply with requests straight away and that's the behaviour you would like to demonstrate more frequently and not just when it is for an activity that is important to them, let them know they are doing a good job! Reflect on it later to saying things such as "Did you notice how much easier it was to get into the car when you did it the first time."

I don't believe in just picking out positives for the sake of finding positives, just handing out awards so that everyone gets one I believe that breeds mediocracy. Children should do more then just breathe they do need to make some effort but acknowledge those efforts and you will change and improve behaviour more effectively  then you realise.